Like stress, a certain level of comparison is healthy, but go a hair beyond that and it quickly turns toxic. Comparison used as a tool to assign value is the real culprit.
...the goal has been achieved and no matter where you sit, some pointy rock edge is jamming you in the ass - it gets cold and windy and chances are a storm will roll in before too long. Before the journey down the mountain is even over, you find yourself already craving another and reminiscing about the journey up, almost wishing you were still headed in that direction.
Right around mile 22 is when things started to go south. I was grinding up a hill, seemingly on the path to Mordor based on the heat and the terrain, when I encountered a hiker. Two runners who kept passing me, sitting to rest until I passed them, only to pass me again, were coming up to pass me for perhaps the 37th time.
Leave it to a songwriter to describe the purpose trail running serves for me better than I can myself...
While my unconscious has been busy processing all the disruption in my life, my ego went hog wild, partying and breaking valuables. It's not all that surprising, but while I was in it, I just knew I was miserable and couldn't figure out how to get out of it. That's when I remembered. I have a say in the matter.
In this era of vision boards and manifesting our desires, how is it different to 'create the life that I want' versus being attached to outcome? I once felt I had a handle on this concept, but as I contemplate it now, it seems to me it's a matter of how much control one has over the outcome that dictates how much suffering attachment creates.
If you're a human adult, you've certainly encountered all of these things and probably taken them a bit too personally a time or two. If you're me, you have become intimately familiar with each one of them, like a trio of sister-wives.
I promised that for every comment anyone made committing themselves to doing something they were afraid of, I would join one RMR run this year. Well, this week I attended the first one facing that all too familiar fear of "I'm not good enough".
This might come as a surprise, or not, depending on how long you've known me, but while laughter and playfulness have always come naturally to me, optimism for the future has not...
On December 30th, I wrote that post on goals, fully intending to sign up for the Mount Hood 50k as my annual destination race. My schedule was coming together nicely...