Summer recap – I did all the things

It’s been a short and wild summer.  I spent the majority of my weekends in the high country, which means regularly getting up at 3-4am on non-workdays.  I have loved every single adventure and was even getting used to the early morning wake up calls, though I can definitely feel the accumulation of sleep deprivation.  I climbed a few 14ers, a few 13ers, ran a couple of iconic loops and segments, ran my first hard af 50k, ran my first extremely runnable 50 miler, had a lot of ups, a few downs and feel like I took advantage of the summer to the best of my capacity.

Last weekend, I acknowledged the coming of the fall, and it’s coming fast, with the second annual Skyline Traverse Season Kickoff Run.  This Boulder classic is 17-20 miles, depending on your preferred method of descending Sanitas, with vertical gains of just over 6000′.  I ran nine of them last season – September to May – as the winter weather was very accommodating.  This run hits the five major peaks along the Boulder skyline – if you run it in my preferred direction, South to North, you’ll hit South Boulder Peak, Bear Peak, Green, Flagstaff and Sanitas.  I hadn’t done it since just before my first race in May and I’m looking forward to many more of these over the coming months.

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That time I ran 50 miles

I thought all my ultra-inspired lessons would come in one neat package on the trail, that they would fit snugly between the start and finish lines and I’d come out the other side a different person than when I started. That’s the thing with lessons – you invite them into your life and expect them to enter through the front door like gentlemen, but instead, they sneak in through the window while you’re sleeping and put your hand into a bowl of warm water.  Continue reading That time I ran 50 miles

and the password is…. Mud

Quad Rock has a reputation for being either hot as balls or near blizzard conditions year to year.  Spring in Colorado is unpredictable and despite 70+ degree days surrounding race day, this year it was in the 50s with rain and mud.  Oh, so much mud.  And every kind of mud. There was the kind of mud that tries to steal your shoes, the kind of predator mud that stands by while its prey exhausts itself trying to stay upright, the splashy diarrhea mud, and the pottery-slip mud.  And in the final stretch was the kind of mud that turns your Salomons into Herman Munster shoes.

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Re-calibration and redemption

It’s no secret.  I’ve been flailing.

Anyone close to me lately has seen the signs that I lost my way.  I can’t stop thinking about my last blog post – although it contains many complete sentences, it feels completely incoherent.  I’m leaving it up to demonstrate that sometimes it’s hard to stay focused on the right and positive things, to demonstrate my humanity.  The funny thing is, that post took me forever to write and edit and write again, while this one is just flowing out of me.  A sign that I’m on the right path.

This is the natural course of these big lessons in resistance.  As the pace of change has quickened in my life, I have been resisting instead of remaining open and vulnerable. As a result, I’ve experienced a lot of darkness, confusion, grasping for control, the going down of rabbit holes and general overall emotional flailing.  While my unconscious has been busy processing all the disruption in my life, my ego went hog wild, partying and breaking valuables.  It’s not all that surprising, but while I was in it, I just knew I was miserable and couldn’t figure out how to get out of it.  That’s when I remembered.  I have a say in the matter.

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Attitude

I choose to be happy!

What does that even mean?  It means reducing behaviors and triggers for negative thought patterns that make me a miserable, angsty, shoegazer.  It means having fun and surrounding myself with people who make me laugh.  It means radical honesty, saying no, discipline, music, and saying yes a lot more often.  It means giving fewer fucks and doing what feels good instead of what looks good.  It means dancing to Sia at the gym even if I look like a total douche because it feels so good to do things that make me feel healthy and strong, particularly when accompanied by sweet jams.  It means making myself a priority.  It means having attitude.  It means knowing how to avoid falling prey to self-doubt.  Most importantly, it means not wasting another minute feeling less-than, unworthy, or insecure. 

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