Last year, my first race back after injury was at the Indian Creek Fifties 15 miler [officially declared to be 14.25 miles, but we all know better]. It was a beautiful, runnable, rolling course with bomb-able downhills and sweeping views along the Colorado Trail. It was the beginning of an incredible year. I’ve had my eye on one more ultra this year, but didn’t officially register in order to allow space for recovery after Mt Hood. I was pretty set on running the 55k since it is three months post-50-miler. But I’m not ready.
If comparison is the thief of joy, why is it so thrilling to get a PR? If comparison is the thief of joy, why does finishing 3rd or 10th or 156th feel so good? You and I know that this classic phrase is true, but it’s more nuanced than it appears at first glance. Like stress, a certain level of comparison is healthy, but go a hair beyond that and it quickly turns toxic. Comparison used as a tool to assign value is the real culprit. In this context, comparison is not a mere pickpocket. No, it straight up kicks down the door, snatches your joy and then proceeds to flip your furniture, drown your electronics and smash the contents of your fridge on the floor just for fun, leaving a dangerous mess in its wake.
Nobody wants to deal with any of these, but if you’re a human adult, you’ve certainly encountered all of these things and probably taken them a bit too personally a time or two. If you’re me, you have become intimately familiar with each one of them, like a trio of sister-wives.
The One Where She Ran
If you read my inaugural post, you may remember that I confessed to being too intimidated to join any of the RMR runs because it’s a large group of fast and furious runners that are much stronger and fitter than me. I promised that for every comment anyone made committing themselves to doing something they were afraid of, I would join one RMR run this year. Well, this week I attended the first one facing that all too familiar fear of “I’m not good enough”.
I’ve had a cold all week, where every day has felt worse than the last. I’ve been able to keep in good spirits, or at least make jokes, rather than focusing on my suffering. I’ve been spreading this li’l gem far and wide, as it pretty much sums up the last three days of my life.
Congratulations if you made it past that. And sorry, humans are gross.
I’m gonna need a new hydration vest.
On December 30th, I wrote that post on goals, fully intending to sign up for the Mount Hood 50k as my annual destination race. My schedule was coming together nicely… Continue reading Others get divorced and buy a Porsche
As humans, it is easy to be lulled into complacency about what the future looks like based on the patterns of the past.
Woke up at 6:15, went to work, sent all the emails and did all the to-do’s, arrived to group run with one minute to spare, went home to melt skin with scalding shower necessary for raising core temperature, ate food, brushed teeth, read one page of book, fell asleep… repeat.