Craving leads to suffering, suffering leads to craving pizza

When I was in high school, I was attracted to guys who were interested in having deep conversations about philosophy or economics or anything I was curious about, which was everything.  The first and last to break me was one of those.  He was one of the smartest people I’ve ever known and a true original thinker.  I met him when I was his math tutor.  He was crazy smart but didn’t care about proving it.  He introduced me to the author Douglas Coupland and more specifically the book Life After God.  I read it at least three times, reveling in the fact that someone could articulate with such sarcastic wit, the existential curiosity that lived within me.

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This title is evolving

How does a girl who grew up constantly being told “you’re so smart, you’re so pretty, you’re going to go so far in life” spend so many years feeling worthless, only to level-up to imposter syndrome once she gets older?  I figured it out yesterday while slow-jögging  up Green-Bear, as there is magic that happens when I move my feet in the dirt.  Self-worth, for those of us not innately blessed with it, has to be and more importantly, can beearned.  While I appreciate the external validation from the well-intentioned adults, it focused on celebrating qualities that were completely out of my control and did nothing to help me develop a sense of value or grow as a person. What I needed was to be taught a growth mindset.

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