As I saw Nikki Kimball running towards me, I had a surreal moment. In the split second that felt like minutes, I at once saw the progress I'd made both physically and mentally over the last three years and it hit me that I was running and running well on the same course as the person who inspired this pastime of mine.
Currently, I'm staring down the race schedule that somehow snuck up on me in the midst of all this. I never did get on a specific training plan, but for the last couple of months I've averaged 160 mi // 35,000' gainz, so I haven't been grossly neglecting the miles or the vert - just the speed-work and hill repeats that are critical to a solid performance. smh
While my unconscious has been busy processing all the disruption in my life, my ego went hog wild, partying and breaking valuables. It's not all that surprising, but while I was in it, I just knew I was miserable and couldn't figure out how to get out of it. That's when I remembered. I have a say in the matter.
In this era of vision boards and manifesting our desires, how is it different to 'create the life that I want' versus being attached to outcome? I once felt I had a handle on this concept, but as I contemplate it now, it seems to me it's a matter of how much control one has over the outcome that dictates how much suffering attachment creates.
Self-worth, for those of us not innately blessed with it, has to be and more importantly, can be earned.
I "used to" have this superstition that if I acknowledged an area of my life that was going well or that I was excited about something, I would jinx it and it would all fall apart. I think I still feel that way to a degree. I keep the things that excite me to myself...
I started reflecting on my journey and would like to offer some recommendations based on what I would do differently and what I got right - but mostly on what I do now after getting it wrong. It's not that tactical, but I promise you, it's just as important. You'll figure out the tactical stuff as you go along.
If you're a human adult, you've certainly encountered all of these things and probably taken them a bit too personally a time or two. If you're me, you have become intimately familiar with each one of them, like a trio of sister-wives.
I promised that for every comment anyone made committing themselves to doing something they were afraid of, I would join one RMR run this year. Well, this week I attended the first one facing that all too familiar fear of "I'm not good enough".
This might come as a surprise, or not, depending on how long you've known me, but while laughter and playfulness have always come naturally to me, optimism for the future has not...